Aladdin: Tortallan Style
by Treesamphetamine
Summary: From the author that brought you Cinderella: Tortallan Style! Let the insanity reign on! Starring Alanna, Kel, Jonathan, Ozorne, Roger, Coram, and Neal!
1. Monkey Suit

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: I no own. You no own. We all no own! Unless, you, uh, own something. Hehe.  
  
*******  
  
Narrator: Aladdin is running away from the cops because he has stolen a piece of bread because he is starving.  
  
Alanna: *running* *stops* AHEM! I am Alanna! A woman!  
  
Narrator: Sorry. Alanna is running away from the cops because she has stolen a piece of bread because she is starving.   
  
Alanna: Thank you. *starts running*  
  
Various Cop: HEY! COME BACK HERE!  
  
Alanna: *runs* HA!!  
  
Cops: DOWN WITH YOU!!  
  
Alanna: *snickers* *runs into a bar* *collapses* Ow.....  
  
Cops: *running after her* GET HIM!  
  
Alanna: *stands up* If you're going to continue to yell for me, will you PLEASE get the gender right??? FEMALE! HER!! SHE!!! WOMAN!! Geez....*starts running again* *hides in a barrel*  
  
Cop: Where'd he go?  
  
Alanna: *glares from inside barrel*  
  
Cop with black hair: Hey look! It's the monkey. *start running towards monkey*  
  
Kel: *standing in a monkey suit* You have got to be kidding.....*turns to run, but is in fact waddling* ALANNA! HELP!!!  
  
Alanna: *peeks up from barrel* I'm never doing this again. Coming, monkey one! *stands up and lifts right leg over barrel* *goes to pull left leg over but barrel falls* Ow....*waits for special effects dude to bring her rope* Thank you. *takes rope and swings by Kel and grabs her*   
  
Kel: *sarcastically* You're my hero.  
  
Alanna: *smiles proudly* Aren't I?  
  
Kel: *mumbles* Suuure.  
  
Alanna: *continues to swing* WEEEEEEE!!!! *tarzan noises*  
  
Kel: This is ridiculous. That's what you get for giving her the lead role.  
  
Director: Yeah, but her name sells.  
  
Kel: And mine doesn't??  
  
Director: Hey, you're the one in the monkey suit.  
  
Kel: *glares and mumbles stuff*  
  
Alanna: *lands in palace place* *puts Kel down* Home!  
  
Kel: Uh, Alanna? We don't life here.  
  
Alanna: Oh? *looks around* OOPS! *grabs Kel takes rope and swings off* *lands in dumpy place* Home! It's not much, but the taxes are cheap! *makes self at home* *munches on bread*  
  
Kel: *fans self* This suit is HOT! *grabs bread and munches*  
  
  
*****  
  
How was that??? Review! I know you people like fics like this!! I was just thinking that I have to do one of these again. Aladdin didn't have the most votes, but it was the movie that I remembered the most of. So..  
  
  
Queen of Fluff 


	2. THE Talk

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
  
Thank you, my beloved reviewers! I love you all!!  
  
Disclaimer: I no own. You no own. We all no own! Unless, you, uh, own something. Hehe.  
  
*******  
  
Coram: As sultan, I think you should marry, Jasmine.  
  
Jon: It's Jon, Dad. Jonathan.  
  
Coram: *looks puzzled* Okay..Jonathan. Anyway, I want to see my grandchildren.   
  
Jon: I don't have any children, Dad.  
  
Coram: Well, that's why I want you to get married.  
  
Jon: That's it?  
  
Coram: Yup.  
  
*Both stand there, silent*  
  
Jon: Uh, how do I go about getting a wife?  
  
Coram: You, uh, well, you uh. You find one, son.  
  
Jon: Where?  
  
Coram: *sweatdrop* Uh....Around! Yeah, there are potential wives all over the place!  
  
Narrator: Now we all know that Jonathan isn't that dumb. He isn't dumb at all, but he enjoys torturing his father with these hard questions.  
  
Jon: So, when I find her, what do I do?  
  
Coram: *lots of sweatdrops* Umm, you propose.....  
  
Jon: And she'll say yes?  
  
Coram: Uhh.....*looks around for help* *finds none* Yeah, yeah she will.  
  
Jon: Why?  
  
Coram: *sweatdrop sweatdrop* Because...uh..you will be sultan in the future..that's why.  
  
Jon: OH!..  
  
*silence*  
  
Narrator: Coram is relieved that his son has run out of questions.  
  
Jon: Then what?  
  
Coram: Argh. You have kids.  
  
Jon: So, how do I go about doing that?  
  
Coram: *pales* We already had this talk. If you don't remember, tough. *runs away*  
  
Jon: Oh.....*looks sad* *smiles at the camera*  
  
  
***LATER***  
  
***MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT***  
  
Jon: *grabs sack and runs out of room* *runs to wall and jumps* *hits the wall* *collapses*  
  
***1 HOUR LATER***  
  
Jon: *gets up and jumps* *keeps jumping until able to grab the wall* *fingers grasp wall* *pulls self up and lands on the other side of the wall with an oof*  
  
***NEXT DAY***  
  
Narrator: Kel and Alanna are walking through the marketplace.  
  
Jon: *walks through marketplace*   
  
Alanna: *walks through marketplace*  
  
Kel: *walks through marketplace*  
  
Jon: *walks throught marketplace*  
  
Alanna: *walks throught marketplace*  
  
Kel: *walks through marketplace*  
  
Jon: *bumps into Alanna*  
  
Alanna: *bumps into Jon*  
  
Jon: *stares at Alanna*  
  
Alanna: *stares at Jon*  
  
Kel *taps foot impatiently, still in monkey suit*  
  
Jon: *continues to stare at Alanna*  
  
Alanna: *continues to stare at Jon*  
  
Kel: *looks at watch* *grabs Alanna and drags her away*  
  
Jon: *begins to walk through marketplace again* *evil man grabs Jon and drags him away*  
  
Alanna: *sees this* *pulls Kel back* Look, faithful monkey sidekick!  
  
Kel: *impatiently* Look at what?  
  
Alanna: The man!  
  
Kel: Which one?  
  
Alanna: The one with black hair!  
  
Kel: They all have black hair!  
  
Alanna: The one without the beard!  
  
Kel: OOOH! I see him! So?  
  
Alanna: He's being kidnapped! I must save him! *whistles for tarzan rope* *grabs it and flies off without Kel*  
  
Kel: *begins to run after Alanna but soon gives up*  
  
Alanna: *swoops down on rope and grabs Jon out of evil man's clasp*  
  
Jon: *screams because he is afraid of heights*  
  
Alanna: Baby! *swoop off the dumpy place where Alanna and Kel live*  
  
Jon: *reaches ground and kisses it*  
  
Alanna: *stands there expectantly* AHEM!  
  
Jon: *gets up* What?  
  
Alanna: *puckers lips* AHEM!  
  
Jon: Oh, right. *kisses Kel, who finally made it, on the cheek*  
  
Alanna: *puckers lips even more* AHEM AHEM AHEM!!!!  
  
Jon: *smiles* *slaps forehead* *walks over to Alanna and kisses her on the lips*  
  
Alanna: *smiles*  
  
  
  
  
  
*****  
Did you like? It's rather sudden, but hey! My ficcy!! And I'm sure you all know by now that this is indeed A/J. Of course. If you read the tidbits on my profile you would probably have figured that out by now.,\  
  
  
Queen of Fluff 


	3. Princesses and Whoppers, Oh My

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
  
Thank you, my beloved reviewers! I love you all!!  
  
Disclaimer:AN Hi! I don't own this, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Then, George would have married Thayet and Jonathan would have gotten Alanna! And, Liam would live to a ripe old age and Neal would marry Kel. Cleon would be killed by a fleet of marathon-running elves. Faithful would have had a wife and more little talking kittens would be around and Kaddar would have been stepped on by a dragon. Varice would have gotten eaten by a spidren. Aaaaaand Alanna would be the Queen of Tortall, meaning she would be married to.........JONATHAN!!!   
  
*******  
  
Alanna: So, where are you from?  
  
Jon: Me? Or the monkey?  
  
Kel: *glares*  
  
Jon: Why is the monkey glaring at me?  
  
Alanna: She's glaring at you because you called her a monkey.  
  
Jon: Oh. I don't want to talk about where I'm from.  
  
Alanna: Why not?  
  
Jon: My father wants me to marry.  
  
Alanna: Oh, who?  
  
Jon: Don't know.  
  
*Loud yelling noises*  
  
Jon: What's that?  
  
Alanna: The palace guards!  
  
*palace guards come running up*  
  
Alanna: *grabs Jon and Tarzan rope* *swings out*  
  
Guard: *takes scissors and cuts rope*  
  
Jon & Alanna: *scream* *fall* *scream* *fall* *land on the ground* *are surrounded by guards*   
  
Alanna: *is grabbed by guard* *struggles*  
  
Jon: Let her go!  
  
Head Guard: NO!  
  
Jon: Let her go, by order of the princess...*slaps forehead*  
  
Director: CUT!  
  
Alanna: *tries not to laugh* Poor Jon....  
  
Kel: *laughs out loud*  
  
Jon: *whispers to the guard beside him* I don't think the monkey girl doesn't likes me very much.  
  
Guard: You're probably right.  
  
Director: ACTION!  
  
Jon: *composes self* Let her go, by order of the prince. *smiles triumphantly* *pulls of cloak*  
  
Guard #1: It's the prince!!   
  
*All guards get down on their hands and knees and chant: "The prince is good. The prince is good. All hail the prince." They begin to kiss his feet.*  
  
Jon: *looks scared* Uh, my people, stand up and, uh, leave my presence...And...go get a whopper..hehe....  
  
Alanna: PRINCE?????  
  
*guards drag Alanna off as they leave to go get a whopper*  
  
Jon: Don't take the girl!!   
  
Head Guard: We have to. We're under the orders of What's-His-Name.  
  
Jon: *gasps* What's-His-Name?  
  
Guards: yes, What's-His-Name.  
  
Jon: I shall have to have a chat with What's-His-Name. What is his name, anyway?  
  
Head Guard: Dunno..He never uses it.  
  
Jon: Oh....*realization hits* I know who you're talking about! Ozorne!  
  
Head Guard: Oh yeah, that's his name!  
  
Alanna: Can we get going now?  
  
*guards drag Alanna and Monkey Girl off*  
  
Kel: IT'S KEL! NOT MONKEY-GIRL! KEL!  
  
  
  
  
*****  
Did you like? It's rather sudden, but hey! My ficcy!! And I'm sure you all know by now that this is indeed A/J. Of course. If you read the tidbits on my profile you would probably have figured that out by now.  
  
I wasn't planning on taking time to write the thank-yous to this because without it the chapters are much faster in the writing, but I want to reply to all of your comments, but can't because not all the names have emails attached. So here goes!  
  
If you reviewed both chapters, your name is listed twice. Starts with the reviews from the first chapter then onto the second.  
  
Thank yous to:  
  
googlepuss: Thank you for being the very first reviewer! Yay! Thank you!!  
  
Hayden's Super Hobbit: Cute name! *giggles*  
  
hyper mage: *is flattered* Yes it is one of my talents---HEY! Oh well...Thank you!!  
  
Lady Lucy A/J 4ever: What do you mean "from the diaries of the Queen of Fluff"? You confused me!!  
  
Devilkitti8: Robin Hood was Sarah's project and she decided that she didn't want to be a part of fic writing in general so...She was really mean to me. We're still friends and all, but we just started talking to each other yesterday. We went 3 or 4 days without talking once. It's not going very well for us. And she yelled at me once for going onto her pen name, but I can do it anyway and she'd never know. I don't think it will be continued unless out of the kindness of my heart I decide to finish it...Ha! Sorry, but I can't do it. Not only for physical writing reasons, but for emotional ones as well. It's sad about Kel's Big Green Sweater. Such potential....Anyway, thanks, and I'm sorry to disappoint you.  
  
Memories of a Broken Night: *laughs* We'll see....  
  
LadyKnight: I can't believe I updating one story this often! Be happy!  
  
Chopstix*: The monkey suit was a stroke of genius I must say. Thank you!  
  
Gliniel of Tirragen + Malfoy: MALFOY!!! *jumps up and down* Did you like my fic, Malfoy??? Huh? Huh? Didja???  
  
Eve of Mirkwood: Thank you thank you!  
  
Memories of a Broken Night: Here! *hands over Tarzan rope* I like the Tarzan rope, it's another bit of insanity and randomness from me..  
  
Dyana-of-Tortall: Thank you!  
  
LadyKnight: I am sooo proud of you!!  
  
Chopstix*: Yay! Say it!! I'm soo glad you want to use one of my little quotes things that I made! Woo!!  
  
Eve of Mirkwood: Thank you!  
  
Cinereath: You are the second person to call it "interesting." Anyway, I hope you find this very funny! Isn't it wonderful how idiotic they can be? I don't think I was THAT idiotic witht he Cinderella one, but who knows since Thom was the drag queen and Myles was gay (he didn't know he was!), but I guess whatever, right?  
  
hyper mage: Okay! That's fine!  
  
Lady-Atalanta: My squire! *is touched* I can't believe you said that about me!! WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Lord of the Rings luver: Your guess is as good as mine as to how it will end. *grins* That isn't very reassuring, is it?   
  
Lady Lucy A/J 4ever: No you can't Lucy! Weird is good! Why one of my best friend calls herself "Spike, Leader of the Freaks." And I ramble on about my computer and other various things. And my other best friend is obsessed with Lance Bass. And my other best friend is so strange that words cannot even describe it. She sometimes can be scary..and moody   
  
  
  
I'm going to ask for LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEWS from you guys! Now go! And review!  
  
  
Queen of Fluff 


	4. Authoress on the Cloud and Other Bits of...

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
  
Thank you, my beloved reviewers! I love you all!!  
  
Disclaimer:AN Hi! I don't own this, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Then, George would have married Thayet and Jonathan would have gotten Alanna! And, Liam would live to a ripe old age and Neal would marry Kel. Cleon would be killed by a fleet of marathon-running elves. Faithful would have had a wife and more little talking kittens would be around and Kaddar would have been stepped on by a dragon. Varice would have gotten eaten by a spidren. Aaaaaand Alanna would be the Queen of Tortall, meaning she would be married to.........JONATHAN!!!   
  
*******  
  
Jon: *storms into Ozorne's study* Where is she?  
  
Ozorne: *coming out of hidden doorway* *closes door on his faithful bird* Who, your highness?  
  
Jon: Alanna! Where is she? *wonders how he knew her name...figures it must have been from the script book*  
  
Ozorne: Well, she is in prison.  
  
Jon: What crime did she commit?  
  
Ozorne: Kidnapping the princess, of course.......*smiles, tries not to laugh* So sorry! *bursts out laughing*  
  
Jon: Oz, this is ridiculous! You of all people should get this right! You and your "ability" to always be correct.  
  
Ozorne: *continues laughing*  
  
Jon: *sticks nose in the air* If anyone needs me, I will be in my trailer. Hmph! *stalks off*  
  
*Ten minutes later*  
  
Director: Jon! *bangs on trailer door* Jon! Come out! We have to reshoot the scene! JON!!!  
  
Jon: *opens little window* I refuse to come out until I am taken seriously as an actor! *closes little window*  
  
Director: *turns* Alanna, can you...  
  
Alanna: No. I may love him, but noooo way! I won't get caught up in this mess! *turns and goes into her trailer*  
  
Director: Kel....  
  
Kel: Never...  
  
Director: Kel...Darling...*tackles her and then shoves her into Jon's trailer window. Yes, the little one* *the glass cracks*  
  
Jon: What the...*stands up and throws teddy bear behind the recliner*  
  
Kel: I'm supposed to make you feel better so you'll come out and film the rest with us.  
  
Jon: *sighs* Go away Kel.  
  
Kel: *smiles* OKAY! *squeezes self back through window* *to director* I can't do it.   
  
Narrator: All of a sudden a bright light appears above everyone's heads.  
  
Director: *turns to see what the old narrator is talking about*  
  
Narrator: A cloud suddenly glides to the ground. And on it is a figure of beauty. She is wearing...  
  
Kel: Oh, for the love of Mithros.  
  
Narrator: *continues* With beautiful blue slippers on her delicate feet. Her blonder hair cascading down her shoulders...  
  
Director: Shut up, Nigel.  
  
Narrator:...And beautiful green eyes....  
  
Everyone: We get the picture!  
  
Narrator: On the cloud, is the writer. She steps down from the cloud with such grace! She is the Queen of Fluff, Lady Theresa herself.  
  
Queen Theresa of Fluff (from now on known as Me): Ahem, Nigel, darling, you can stop now. *blushes faintly*  
  
Director: *runs forward**gets on hands and knees* Can you get Jonathan out??  
  
Me: *nods* *walks over to Jon's trailer and uses authoress magic to open the door* *walks in and closes the door*  
  
Alanna: *comes out* What's going on?  
  
Director: The authoress came! She came!  
  
Alanna: *is shocked* I thought she didn't make visits anymore..  
  
Director: She made an exception for us, I suppose!  
  
Jon: *steps out* *light on his feet and very happy* I'm ready! *walks off at a run to the set*  
  
Me: *steps out* *smiles and steps back onto cloud* *begins to float back up* *hits head on tree branch* Ow...  
  
*Back at the set*  
  
Director: ACTION!  
  
Ozorne: Kidnapping the prince, of course.  
  
Jon: She didn't kidnap me! I ran away.  
  
Ozorne: What a pity. She has been killed, you know.  
  
Jon: No! No! *runs off to his room where he sobs*  
  
Ozorne: *opens the hidden wall door more to release is poor bird*  
  
Roger: *flops down* *pant pant* *glares*  
  
Ozorne: *taps shoulder*  
  
Roger: *flies up and lands on Ozorne's shoulder* *preens feathers*  
  
  
  
******  
  
Alanna: *sits in prison, chained to stone wall* How come I didn't figure it out? All the nice guys are royalty or nobility or related to someone who wants me dead no matter what. When will I learn?  
  
Kel: *tries to squeeze through window to get in to save Alanna (she happened to escape earlier)* ARRRGGGHHH! Alanna, I'm stuck!  
  
Alanna: Not now, Kel, I'm moping.   
  
Kel: HELP!!  
  
Alanna: Kel, I happen to be very busy right now....KEL! I'm so glad to see you!  
  
Kel: *pulls self through* *lands with an oof!* *runs over and frees Alanna from the hand cuffs*  
  
Alanna: Thank you, monkey girl.  
  
Kel: *glares*  
  
Old Man: You look like a healthy young sprout.  
  
Alanna: I'm not a sprout, but my friend here is a monkey.  
  
Kel: *glares*  
  
Old Man: Would you be interested is dat der treasure? *holds out hand filled with jewels*  
  
Kel: OOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Alanna: Are you from Chicago?  
  
Old Man: *looks down* No....  
  
Alanna: *shrugs* Sure, what do we have to do for this treasure?  
  
Old Man: You have to go it to this huge sand cave and hope you live, but it's well worth it if you live! You'll be rich!  
  
Alanna: *imagines what she would do with all the jewels and money*  
  
*Alanna's Dream*  
  
iShe becomes a wealthy noble woman. Prince Jonathan comes to her and proposes. She lives happily ever after./i  
  
*End Dream*  
  
Kel: *imagines what she would do with her jewels and money*  
  
*Kel's Dream*  
  
i "Congratulations, Kel," the doctor says. "You're a normal human being!"  
  
It's true. Kel looks like a human and not monkey girl. Even though to reach this state she would only have to take the costume *off.* That concept was too difficult because Kel had in fact sweated in it and it was stuck to her body. And not to mention that the rental costume store wouldn't take it back because she had soiled it. And not to mention the fact that she did not have any other clothes other than the suit. /i  
  
*End Dream*  
  
Alanna: We'll do it!  
  
Kel: *nods*  
  
*****  
  
I hope you guys enjoyed this. I'd like to thank all of my reviewers. I can't thank you personally now because my computer is quite angry at me now and it may have some horrific plot against me..*knocks on wood* Anyway, review because you know you love to.  
  
~Queen of Fluff 


	5. Raoul the Roaring Tiger, He's back from ...

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
  
Thank you, my beloved reviewers! I love you all!!  
  
Disclaimer:AN Hi! I don't own this, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Then, George would have married Thayet and Jonathan would have gotten Alanna! And, Liam would live to a ripe old age and Neal would marry Kel. Cleon would be killed by a fleet of marathon-running elves. Faithful would have had a wife and more little talking kittens would be around and Kaddar would have been stepped on by a dragon. Varice would have gotten eaten by a spidren. Aaaaaand Alanna would be the Queen of Tortall, meaning she would be married to.........JONATHAN!!!   
  
*******  
  
*DESERT AREA*  
  
Alanna: Are we there yet?  
  
Old Man: Just a little bit farther.  
  
*3 hours later*  
  
Alanna: Are we there yet?  
  
Old Man: Yes. *pulls out to beetle like pieces and sticks them together*  
  
Kel: *Watches in wonder*  
  
Alanna: *taps foot impatiently*  
  
*Large tiger-like head of sand comes out of the sand*  
  
Tiger: ROOOOOOAAARR!  
  
Alanna: Raoul?  
  
Raoul: Uh...HI, Alanna..  
  
Alanna: You're the tiger head thing?  
  
Raoul: Funny....Uh, yeah....  
  
Old Man: Oh, get on with it!  
  
Raoul: Right. *opens mouth really wide* Come in if you dare. To get the diamond in the rough and....uh...don't touch nothing!!  
  
Old Man: *shoves Alanna and Kel forward*  
  
Alanna: *steps carefully down the stairs* *does not make a sound*  
  
Kel: *takes a tentative step and slips* *falls all the way down the stairs*  
  
Alanna: *slaps hand to face* *continues down the stairs* *reaches the end* Are you okay, Kel?  
  
Kel: *stands up* Yeah....I guess....  
  
Alanna: *sees lots of treasure and gold and jewels* *shrugs and keeps walking*  
  
Kel: *in a trance staring at all the treasure*  
  
Alanna: *turns and around and grabs Kel by the collar and drags her along*  
  
Alanna and Kel: *walk along a path for a really long time*  
  
Alanna: *opens a heavy door*  
  
Kel: *follows*  
  
Alanna: *steps across many stones and climbs steps to a really tall mountain thing*  
  
Kel: *sees a set of gold colored clothes on a shrine-type thingy* OOOOOOOOOOOOO! *slowly walks over to it*  
  
Alanna: *Gets upt o the top of the mountain like thing and sees a small lamp* *picks it up* Cool!  
  
Kel: *touches clothes*   
  
Raoul: *taunting voice* YOU TOUCHED SOMETHING! YOU GET TO DIE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Alanna: *looks angrily at Kel who looks down*  
  
*Cave thing begins to fall apart*   
  
Alanna: *runs down the steps* *feet get burned* Ow! Oo!!! OWIE!!! *grabs Kel and they run*  
  
*10 minutes later their feet are scorched*  
  
Alanna and Kel: *get up to the stairs and are hanging on for dear life* HELP US!!!  
  
Old Man: Give me the lamp and I'll help you!  
  
Alanna: *hands over the lamp*  
  
Old Man: *takes lamp* *evil laugh* *grabs knife* *goes to stab Alanna*  
  
Kel: *bits Old Man*  
  
Old Man: *screams in agony* *drops lamp*  
  
Raoul: *closes big mouth and Alanna and Kel fall into it*  
  
Alanna and Kel: *unconscious*  
  
  
  
  
*****  
  
I hope you guys enjoyed this. I'd like to thank all of my reviewers. I can't thank you personally now because my computer is quite angry at me now and it may have some horrific plot against me..*knocks on wood* Anyway, review because you know you love to.  
  
~Queen of Fluff 


	6. Genie

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
  
Thank you, my beloved reviewers! I love you all!!  
  
Disclaimer: Hi! I don't own this, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Then, George would have married Thayet and Jonathan would have gotten Alanna! And, Liam would live to a ripe old age and Neal would marry Kel. Cleon would be killed by a fleet of marathon-running elves. Faithful would have had a wife and more little talking kittens would be around and Kaddar would have been stepped on by a dragon. Varice would have gotten eaten by a spidren. Aaaaaand Alanna would be the Queen of Tortall, meaning she would be married to.........JONATHAN!!!   
  
*******  
  
Kel: *wakes up*  
  
Alanna: *wakes up* Where are we? *remembers* Oh yeah....  
  
Kel: *picks up lamp* *runs to Alanna* Look!  
  
Alanna: The lamp? I thought we gave it to the Old Man.  
  
Kel: It fell back with us!  
  
Alanna: *sees scuff mark on the lamp* *rubs lamp* *funky noises are heard*  
  
*smoke comes out of spout on lamp*  
  
*a huge blue person appears*  
  
Neal: YOU HAVE FREED ME!!!!!!  
  
Alanna: *stares* *screams* *dives behind rock*  
  
Kel: *sits*  
  
Neal: Wait! Master!  
  
Alanna: Master?....Master?  
  
Neal: Since you have brought me out of my prison I shall grant you 3 wishes!  
  
Alanna: Three? That's kind of cheap, don't you think?  
  
Neal: I hear that a lot.  
  
Alanna: Ah.  
  
Neal: What is your first wish?  
  
Alanna: Already? *thinks* *clever grin* You know, Kel, I don't know how we're going to get out of here. Do you have any ideas?  
  
Kel: *looks innocent* *shakes head*  
  
Alanna: We might just have to climb out. You think we'd make it?  
  
Neal: *mad* Hello?? I am a genie!! *jumps out and spreads arms, smiling a very charming smile*  
  
Alanna: *doesn't notice* Do you think we could find some rope?  
  
Neal: *makes a rug appear* *picks up Alanna and Kel and sits them on the rug* *sits down behind them* *the rug takes them out of the evil cave*  
  
Raoul: Bye!! Come again!!  
  
***  
  
*Carpet sets down in small oasis*  
  
Neal: Now, what would you like you second wish to be?  
  
Alanna: I didn't wish us out. You did that on your own.  
  
Neal: But...b-b-b-but....b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-but........*sobs*  
  
Alanna: Baby.  
  
Neal: *sobs even more*  
  
  
  
  
*****  
  
I hope you guys enjoyed this. I'd like to thank all of my reviewers. I can't thank you personally now because my computer is quite angry at me now and it may have some horrific plot against me..*knocks on wood* Anyway, review because you know you love to.  
  
~Queen of Fluff 


	7. Ew! Gross!

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
  
I am so glad that you are all loving this! It makes me so happy!!  
  
Disclaimer: Hi! I don't own this, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Then, George would have married Thayet and Jonathan would have gotten Alanna! And, Liam would live to a ripe old age and Neal would marry Kel. Cleon would be killed by a fleet of marathon-running elves. Faithful would have had a wife and more little talking kittens would be around and Kaddar would have been stepped on by a dragon. Varice would have gotten eaten by a spidren. Aaaaaand Alanna would be the Queen of Tortall, meaning she would be married to.........JONATHAN!!!   
  
*******  
  
Kel: What do we do now? *washes self with water*  
  
Alanna: *stares into water, thinking of Jon*  
  
Kel: Alanna? Alanna?  
  
Alanna: What?  
  
Kel: What are we going to do now?  
  
Alanna: I don't know.  
  
Neal: What about your three wishes?  
  
Alanna: *lightbulb* I have one wish for you.  
  
Neal: *eagerly* What is it?  
  
Alanna: Well, you see, there's this guy...  
  
Neal: WOAH! No, I cannot make people fall in love with each other!  
  
Alanna: Why not?  
  
Neal: Because......because.....It's CREEPY!! *shudders* Love is gross!! EWW!!  
  
Kel: *rolls eyes*  
  
Alanna: But love is beautiful.  
  
Neal: EW! GROSS!!  
  
Kel: You're a dork.  
  
Neal: Me? Thank you! *realizes what she said* *sobs*  
  
Kel: *rolls eyes*  
  
Alanna: But, you don't understand! This guy! Jon, he's the prince and look at me! I'm ugly! And if you didn't notice, I am not exactly princess material! Not the kind of girl that marries the prince!  
  
Neal: Sorry, but love is still gross.  
  
Kel: *walks over to Neal* *grabs the collar of his shirt and pulls him up so his face up to hers* Do. It.  
  
Neal: No!!  
  
Kel: *eyes narrow* *lefts go of collar* *turns to look at Alanna*  
  
Neal: *breathes sigh of relief*  
  
Kel: *turns back around* *punches Neal in the jaw* DO IT!!  
  
Neal: OWW!!  
  
Alanna: Violence doesn't solve anything...*is depressed*  
  
Kel: Alanna! Violence is the way you live! You live by violence! It's your way of life!  
  
Alanna: Not anymore; love is now.  
  
  
*****  
  
GO KEL!! *pumps up in air* *stops and looks around* *smiles weakly* Heh....ANYWAY, I hope you guys enjoyed this! Hee! REVIEW!!  
  
  
  
~Queen of Fluff 


	8. Neal the Master

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
  
  
I am so glad that you are all loving this! It makes me so happy!!  
  
Disclaimer: Hi! I don't own this, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Then, George would have married Thayet and Jonathan would have gotten Alanna! And, Liam would live to a ripe old age and Neal would marry Kel. Cleon would be killed by a fleet of marathon-running elves. Faithful would have had a wife and more little talking kittens would be around and Kaddar would have been stepped on by a dragon. Varice would have gotten eaten by a spidren. Aaaaaand Alanna would be the Queen of Tortall, meaning she would be married to.........JONATHAN!!!   
  
*******  
  
Alanna: *stands up and walks over to Neal* *pokes him*  
  
Neal: *annoyed* What now??  
  
Alanna: Genie person-thingy, I want you to make me a pwincess!! *smiles sweetly*  
  
*Crowd gasps*  
  
Alanna: What? I wanna be a princess!!  
  
Neal: *still does not believe this* You're kidding right?  
  
Alanna: No. Can you make me a princess or not?  
  
Neal: *looks Alanna over* Yeah, but it'll be a LOT of work.  
  
*****  
  
Neal: *grabs white lab jacket and puts it on*  
  
Kel: Aren't you a genie? Can't you just make this happen with magic?  
  
Neal: *sweatdrop* Umm...  
  
Kel: Can't you?  
  
Neal: *gulps* I'm not exactly a genie...I'm a certified beautician though!! *smiles*  
  
Kel: *shrugs* Same thing.  
  
*****  
  
Alanna: OW!!!  
  
Neal: Stop moving. Don't you want nice eyebrows? Instead of this jungle you have up here. *pokes Alanna's forehead*  
  
Alanna: *pouts*  
  
*Random women are filing Alanna's nails and painting them. Others are highlighting her hair. Several others are measuring her for clothes. All of them are poking and prodding*  
  
Alanna: Stop it. EEK! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!! ARGGH!! Leave my BUTT ALONE!! Ow!! My eye! That was my eye, you big freak!!! You stabbed me! *continues to be poked and prodded*  
  
***  
  
Alanna: *steps out from behind a curtain* *looks around* *she looks like a princess...she's actually pretty...)  
  
Kel: *appauds*  
  
Neal: *looks smug* *to himself* I still got it.  
  
*****  
  
I have nothing to say......*sniffle*  
  
  
  
~Queen of Fluff 


	9. The Flying Balaclava!

A.N It's BAAAAAACK! The second fanfiction of the Movie Parody collection. Enjoy!  
I am so glad that you are all loving this! It makes me so happy!!  
  
Disclaimer: Hi! I don't own this, but wouldn't it be cool if I did? Then, George would have married Thayet and Jonathan would have gotten Alanna! And, Liam would live to a ripe old age and Neal would marry Kel. Cleon would be killed by a fleet of marathon-running elves. Faithful would have had a wife and more little talking kittens would be around and Kaddar would have been stepped on by a dragon. Varice would have gotten eaten by a spidren. Aaaaaand Alanna would be the Queen of Tortall, meaning she would be married to.........JONATHAN!!!   
  
*******  
  
Neal: You look fab! *admires his work*  
  
Alanna: *admires herself*  
  
Kel: *admires her mosquito bite*  
  
Alanna: *wearing swishy gown* What now? *walks around* *swish swish swish*  
  
Neal: We present you to the Prince!!!  
  
Alanna: Yay! *swish swish swish*  
  
Neal: *grabs flying balaclava* Come! We fly!  
  
Alanna: *swish swish swish* *hops onto flying balaclava* *swish swish swish*  
  
*flying balaclava begins to fly away*  
  
Kel: *grabs the tips and hangs on for dear life* Aaaaaaayiiiiiiiieeeeee!!!  
  
******  
  
*Flying balaclava lands*  
  
Neal: We need to get you a steed!  
  
Alanna: *swish swish swish* Yay!  
  
Neal: Come! *walks over to horse fair*  
  
Onua: Can I help you?  
  
Neal: Yes, we need one of your finest horses.  
  
Onua: Horses? We don't sell horses here!  
  
Neal: You don't?   
  
Onua: Nope! We sell the finest goats this side of the Mediterranean!  
  
Goats: *goat noises* *eat grass*  
  
Goat 1: *starts eating Neal's pants*  
  
Neal: Aaaaayyy!! Stop it!!!   
  
Kel: *slaps forehead*  
  
Onua: They won't bite!  
  
Goat 23: *bites Neal*  
  
Neal: OWWW!! IT BIT ME!!!  
  
Onua: *impatiently* Do you want a goat or not?  
  
Neal: *rubs leg* Fine... *purchases white goat*   
  
Onua: Have a nice day!!  
  
Neal: *mumbles* *walks back to flying balaclava*  
  
Alanna: *swish swish swish*  
  
*flying balaclava starts flying*  
  
Alanna: So, where are we going now?  
  
Neal: *applying ointment to bite wound* *glares at goat which is called Minion (named by Neal, full name being Spawn of Satan's Evil Minion of #*&%$*&%*$%&$*%&#$*#&*$%#)** Agraba.  
  
Alanna: Oh....*fidgets*  
  
Neal: *annoyed* Proper ladies do NOT fidget!!  
  
Alanna: *stops* Sorry....  
  
Neal: *scribbly dust cloud over head*  
  
Alanna: *sits patiently* *plays with loose thread on the flying balaclava*  
*****  
  
Sorry for the long wait! I completely forgot about this fic! I am so sorry!!!! Well, I hope you guys enjoyed this and be sure to review!  
~Queen of Fluff 


	10. The Parade!

A.N Sorry for the long wait AGAIN! Egad, what is wrong with me???  
  
**********************  
  
Neal walks over to where Alanna is sitting. "Okay, Alanna, we have a slight problem."   
  
"What's that?" she asks. She appears to be concentrating. But, knowing how flaky she's been acting, we can possibly assume that she is not paying attention.  
  
"Well, you see, " Neal began, "we have this huge parade thing we need to do to present you and..."  
  
"And what?"  
  
"All we have is a monkey, a goat, and a flying balaclava," he finished.  
  
Minion the goat begins to nibble on Neal's pantleg.  
  
"MITHROS CURSE YOU, GOAT!!" he shrieks! He climbs onto the table.   
  
Alanna shrugs. "That's okay. We'll make due with what we have!" She shows us what is to be known as a cheesy grin.  
  
Kel stares.  
  
"On with the parade, Mr. Genie sir!"  
  
******  
  
Alanna, Neal, Kel, and Minion all pile onto the flying balaclava. Neal uses his all power genie power to make trumpets blast, signaling their entrance. Nobody pays attention.   
  
"Make way!" Neal shouts!  
  
The crowd clump together.  
  
"Make way for the Princess Ala!"   
  
Nothing.  
  
"Ahem, MOVE, dammit!"   
  
The crowd parts like the Red Sea a thousand years ago.  
  
"THANK you," Neal calls sarcastically.   
  
"Where are we going?" Kel asks.  
  
"The palace!" he replies.  
  
"Ah..."  
  
*****40 Minutes Later*****  
  
They have finally reached the palace.  
  
"Gods, the traffic!" Neal cries.  
  
They float in upon the flying balaclava.  
  
"And, uh, who are you?" says the sultan in his Power Rangers pajamas.  
  
"We," Neal begins, in his most sexy voice," are the entourage of Princess Ala."  
  
"And where is she?"  
  
Neal gestures to Alanna.  
  
The sultan walks over. "Too skinny."  
  
Alanna opens her mouth to argue.  
  
Neal jabs her in the side.   
  
"OW, NEAL!!"  
  
"Sorry.."  
  
"Do you want to see the prince?" the sultan asks.  
  
"Yes!" Alanna says happily.  
  
"Up the stairs and to the right." 


End file.
